Summer Solstice Blues

Expectations are just resentments under construction. I heard these words of wisdom when I needed them the most: when I expected folks to behave in the ways I believed to be best: when I was usually disappointed, and ultimately, resentful. Over time, my resentment followed the breadcrumbs back to its rightful owner - me! As painful as it was, I had to experience that resentment towards myself, for setting myself up, again and again, through my expectations. 

A perfect example is June 21, the Summer Solstice. Where I live, this longest day is over 16 hours, and yet I awoke to cloudy skies (again) this morning. My expectations of a day with the word "Summer" in its name, include sunshine, temperatures above 64 degrees, and some fanfare. Who could I blame?

The cold, gray day exacerbated the depression that had crept in, over the past few days, and I didn't want to sit in that cool pool of pain this time.

I did something radical: I reached out to my friends and family. Rather than lament their absence from my morning, and fuel my expectations that my emotional needs be met on my schedule, I zapped the potential resentments waiting for me. I simply asked to hear that they loved me, that even a heart emoji would do, and THEY ALL CAME THROUGH FOR ME! Tears of lack became tears of abundance. Thank you again, if you were one of these morning texters!

If you have good support, I actually recommend you stay in your funk, and explore all it has to teach you. Remember Rumi’s guesthouse advice about these “unexpected visitors: Welcome and entertain them all!…be grateful for whatever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”.

“Take A Step, No Matter How Small.”, is BKS Iyengar’s advice. Yogāsana postures, prānāyāma practices and mantras, can help lift you up when you’re down and can’t stay there any longer. Here are five uplifting poses:

1- Mountain with arms overhead

2-Chair pose (arms up)

3-The Warriors, especially 1 and 3

4-Inversions, especially handstand and headstand (if you’re experienced only!)

5-Backbends, from Bridge to Camel to Upward Bow. This can also include supported backbends, reclining over a bolster or just hanging off the edge of your couch.

Prānāyāma support can start with just noticing your breath, and coming into the present. Depression mindset often takes us into the past or future, ruminating and projecting the worst. Practice inhaling halfway, pausing there, inhaling the rest of the way, and pausing when you’re full of breath. Exhale any way you wish. Do this five times, then notice how you feel.

My personal advice for depression includes and idea that depression lives in your armpits and behind your knees! Yes, I know, but just give it a try.

If you are lying down, sit up.

If you’re sitting, stand up.

If you can stand, raise your arms overhead.

Now you can play with Warrior 1, Mountain with arms up, Lunges with arms up, Sun Salutations, Downward Dog and maybe Handstand (or similar poses).

Don’t give depression a place to nestle in, unless you’re ready (and supported) to befriend this part of you and give it an appropriate home.

Please feel free to schedule a yoga therapy session if you’re ready to do some exploring.