Remembering, Forgetting, Remembering Again
This has been a week of magical surprises in the ice! I saw that animal skull above, sculpted by Whatcom Creek, and tried to capture its wildness. I wanted to remember this moment, this temporary expression, before it disappeared.
This still, soft respite of snow time helps me slow way down, and encourages me to really notice that the world is offering itself to me, as Mary Oliver says.
It feels, at once, like something totally unique and new, as well as a remembering of my deep connection to all life, that is often overlooked when "real life" overshadows this felt sense of wisdom.
Long ago, I heard a teaching about ice, from Lama Tsering Everest: ice seems so real, so permanent. It's hard, it's cold, it has a certain shape and texture that seem like they will last forever.
But we know that ice melts, and returns to its former self, as water. We could say that the ice forgets that its essence is water, and becomes attached to this idea of a self, known as ice.
We do the very same thing, deciding that we are this self we perceive right now. Maybe the "I" that I am right now, is depressed or lonely or worried. It can seem like I will always feel this way. I might make future plans based on who I am right now. I could cancel a visit, or scramble to schedule more chats with friends. I might start binging on buttery shortbread cookies or restrict all enjoyable foods, in accordance with my reactionary style.
We might do the same projecting on a day when everything feels just splendid. This could include fantasizing a perfect evening at home, snuggling by the fire with your partner, or a dream date with a new lover, or believing that your eyes will be wrinkle-free for another decade.
This kind of storytelling often leads to disappointment. The remedy for both, is that old staying present idea we can't seem to remember!
The other teaching from ice is the false sense of separateness. You might remember this from the kleśas, or pains, from the yoga sutras. This arises because of forgetting, or "not knowing", (another kind of pain, from sutra 2.3.).
Ice forgets that its essence is water, and we forget that our essence is perfection. The Bhagavad Gita says that we are already whole and complete, connected to the entire universe, but we forget this constantly. Usually, being born human includes this frustrating conundrum: we feel like ice, me over here and you over there in the ice cube tray. Then our masterful nervous system creates endless reactions to affirm this: we are separate beings. You can't maintain eye contact to affirm our connection, so I feel alone. Shall I fight you or run away? Maybe I will freeze or try to placate you. These reactions occur so quickly, and there's no mature thinking involved. As we build a personality on this foundation, our bodies simply try to keep us safe, forgetting that embodied, deep connection would provide this safety much more successfully.
Some folks are born into secure attachment, and have a deeper, innate trust of this world. We can all learn to cultivate this trust, but it takes time, and diligence, and often skilled support.
Many counseling environments, such as yoga therapy, can provide the support needed to build secure attachment, trust, confidence, and faith in yourself.
Can we keep remembering, perhaps letting this pause, inspired by the snow and ice, be that tap on the shoulder, that ring of the bell, calling us back to ourselves?
We will forget again, as the busy mind sweeps in so quickly, stealing the moment once more.
How shall we remember again?
Do you have a touchstone, a practice, that brings you back, to remembering that you're already OK?
(That fabulous photo is by Katie Cassidy)
!!YOGASANA AND YOGA THERAPY NEWS!!
COME PRACTICE WITH ME, LIVE, THIS SATURDAY! I will be subbing at Bellingham Yoga Collective THIS Saturday, January 20, at 9:30. This class is chanting, prānāyāmā and vinyasa. I would love to see your faces and share these beloved practices.
I will also be offering Yoga for Anxiety as a six-week series, starting May 9, 6-8pm. More details coming soon.
2023 Prices for Yoga Therapy are still valid for folks who enjoyed sessions the last quarter of last year (October - December 2023).
Scholarship donations are gratefully accepted! Requests for financial support continue to surpass the financial assistance in the pot. Please consider supporting this program if you are able. Generosity benefits you even more than those receiving.
(I love how these icicles, caught here in Bellingham, look like legs wearing peachy tights, dangling and dancing.)
As always....
I offer complimentary, 20-minute consultations for the yoga therapy-curious out there.
Click here:https://catenrightyogatherapy.as.me/schedule.php