Dressing Up
In this Halloween season of costuming, I've been wondering about the roles we all play, as revealed by the ways we dress.
My dark green Lulu Lemon hoodie sends a message, as do my deep blue, no-name, form-fitting yoga pants, and the chunky, crimson, Blundstone boots I prefer. I am dressing up, but for whom and why?
Last Saturday, I donned a somewhat severe, black, vintage dress, with covered buttons up the back of my neck, tiny snaps along the side of my waist, and slightly puffed sleeves. As I pencilled in my unibrow, and threaded red ribbons through my crown of braids, I tried to become Frida Kahlo for the evening. I am a tiny bit German, but unlike Frida, I have zero Spanish nor indigenous ancestry. Still, I tried to embody her bold, magical intensity with deep, red lipstick, fresh flowers pinned into my hair, jewelry and scarves for adornment.
More than wanting to look like her, I wanted to signal to folks a recognition and respect for her iconic boldness, celebrating her hair-raising eyebrows, Catholic school girl mustache, and the knowledge of deep suffering conveyed through her artwork. I wanted to represent the finished Frida, through this play, to somehow know that glory that can arise from facing life's cruelty.
As you can see, I looked kinda scary. It was a challenge to choose this visage and attitude over my typical, try-to-look-kinda cute, and be pleasing to others persona.
Even for one night.
I gained deeper respect for Frida. She didn't care about pleasing anyone but herself, or at least that's what reverberated from her appearance and her paintings.
She was only 47 when she died, and maybe if she'd been able to join a midlife support group she could have gone on longer! What kind of powerhouse might she have become, once the oxytocin waned?
Regardless, she reminded me that we're all dressing up, all the time.
There's an educational and heartbreaking scene in Orange is The New Black, where a butch lesbian inmate (as the actress, Lea DeLaria, describes herself) tries to visit her dying mother, dressed in her hallmark t-shirt, hoodie, jeans, with the gang-banger jewelry, with tattoos you might subscribe to a man who's done time.
It's her father who stands in her way, saying that her "costume" would be too upsetting, and why can't she just put it aside so her mom can tolerate her visit. He claims that none of us get to be who we are all the time (that we must conform, as he did). She leaves, refusing his suggestion that she deny who she has fought to be.
I used to dress pretty wacky, by choice, and enjoyed challenging mainstream ideas of how a woman should be and behave. I was never told I had to wear dresses, or corsets, or girdles or gloves, but women just a few years my senior carved a path I could roll down, on my bike, in tiny shorts and fishnets if I chose.
I didn't realize that my subversive dress up actions were growing courage into my bones, experience at embodying my beliefs and compassion for folks who's way of dressing is a fight for a life of dignity and authenticity.
There is so much more to say! Consider why you're picking out those clothes today.
I really want to hear what comes up for you. If you write in, I could publish your ideas in my next newsletter!!!!
Baths Are A Great Support for Vata
The very best bath for this season is an oil bath, called Abyanga.This soothing, grounding, self-love practicestarts with warmed oil, sesame is my favorite. Many oils will not absorb into your skin, so choose carefully, raw oil, no flavoring or toasting!
Warm your bathroom and draw yourself a warm bath of water. Create a soothing, nurturing atmosphere, maybe with a candle. Then begin to massage your warmed oil into your entire body. Begin with your scalp, and work your way, lovingly, along every bone and joint that you can reach!
When you're all yummy and salved with oil, get into the bath.You can shower if you prefer, but the intention is to allow the warm water to further draw the oil into your skin. You don't need soap (except for genital area and armpits).
This helps calm, sooth and quiet the dry, unsettled nature of vata. You'll need to choose a specific Abyanga towel, because it will get oily and need to be discarded eventually.
Here's a sweet instructional video for further support:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HQLsfZh5js
More Google Reviews! Thank You!
Cat helped lead me
to discover healing
in my body and soul.
I am deeply grateful
for her wisdom,
intuition,
and compassion.
-Ashley Kimberly
***Some things that I like***
MAIL-IN VOTING!!!!! There's still time! Mark that ballot! Participate! Millions have paved the way to your right to vote, so you can show your gratitude and respect by doing it!
Familiar Yet Necessary Feminist Tale (skip this if you love Mansplaining) Frida would love this...
https://www.guernicamag.com/rebecca-solnit-men-explain-things-to-me/
Actually Putting Money where Mouth Is!!!
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/millionaire-builds-99-tiny-homes-to-cut-homelessness-in-his-community-he-even-provides-jobs-on-site-for-them/?utm_campaign=newsletters&utm_medium=weekly_mailout&utm_source=31-10-2023
Help Others, A Simple Canadian Suggestion....
https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/mans-wedding-ring-lost-in-ocean-is-found-so-he-drives-1600-mi-to-thank-metal-detectorist/?utm_campaign=newsletters&utm_medium=weekly_mailout&utm_source=31-10-2023
Some of My Favorite People, Speaking on Jealosy and Lonliness
Episode 249 We Can Do Hard Things
https://www.google.com/search?q=we+can+do+hard+things+episode+249&oq=we+can+do+hard+things+episode+249&aqs=chrome..69i57j69i64.7559j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
