Aspire To Be Free
This week, one of my teachers said, "Aspire to be free of suffering, this is a noble path.". Why just aspire? Because once we attain any amount of liberation from suffering, we want to keep it that way forever. It leads to more grasping, and more suffering. We forget so quickly that we were grateful just a moment ago, and now pray, or assume, that the pain will never - should never - return.
Any of you meditators out there know how this plays out in working with the mind: as soon as you think, "This is it!", then "it" is gone.
Our greatest opportunity in this life is to wake up. Think of a child, holding an ice cream cone, who catches their reflection in a window. It looks like they have two cones!
It's painful to awaken to this truth the first time, but when we accept and gain wisdom. We are no longer hurt by this realization.
We will fall into more grief if we rely on distraction, escapism and idealism to simply get through our days on earth. When we turn toward our sorrows, and befriend them, we can awaken to their role in our lives.
Spiritual practice can be slippery, because we are trying to grow, to grow up. We want so much to be finished, to have it all together, and be done. This has always been my approach: do my chores first and then play the rest of the day.
The work of growing into a full human being is not over until we die! It’s daunting to face this! This odyssey can be sweeter if we include the four immeasurable qualities: equanimity, joy, compassion and love. These Brahmaviharas are almost exactly the same in the Buddhist and yogic texts, and both list them in the reverse order that I just did. Why?
What if we start with equanimity, remembering that we are all struggling?
I can’t actually get “ahead” of you, nor the reverse. When someone snakes into the Trader Joe’s parking spot I had my eye on, I can aspire to offer them appreciative joy, or maybe compassion (for the negativity they’re generating!). I am no better than they are, wanting the best for myself.
Grace in the parking lot isn’t my forte, and usually some nasty name flies off my tongue. It’s in these seemingly small moments when we can change our lives.
The parking lot snakes aren’t going to disappear, but I can decide to respond instead of reacting.
Appreciative joy is given as the remedy for envy. It gets easier as I get older, but jealousy still arises! The love I feel for my kids, friends, clients, and family makes my life so rich. I remember a Lulu lemon shopping bag with these wise words, “Jealousy works the opposite way you want it to.”. Instead of reaping the crops of joy for others’ successes, the green monster stews in a sense of lack and resentment.
Thank you Brahmaviharas! There are endless opportunities for aspiration!
Let me simplify love and compassion: love is my hope that you will be happy, compassion is my commitment to stay with you when you are not. If we apply the recognition that happiness won’t last, we see that compassion is going to be needed much more often!
For now, my friends, let aspiration be your aspiration. We’re all just walking each other home, this whole life long.