Trying to Surrender

I want to tell you that I am miraculously recovered from grief, worry and agitation, ready to give you only uplifting practices from here on out.  April Fools!

Sorry folks, we’re just getting into the first course of this complex meal.  The ups and downs continue and there really is no “getting ground” at this time.

I found Rumi poem that has been helpful to me as I continue to have highs and lows.  This poem was written over two thousand years ago and feels like it’s still healing medicine.  It is a little embarrassing that we’re still grappling with the same problems and as folks were in 1207.  Aren’t we learning anything?  It is also reassuring, in giving that reminder that I do belong to the big human club, because I’m still grappling with these same problems!  Like many things now, it makes me laugh and makes me cry.

This poem gives me permission to be confused, and encourages saying neither yes nor no at this time.  Being with “what is” is the medicine.

Here it is:

Zero Circle

Be helpless and dumbfounded,
unable to say yes or no.
Then a stretcher will come from grace
to gather us up.
We are too dull-eyed to see the beauty.
If we say Yes, we can, we will be lying.
If we say No, we don’t see it,
that no will behead us
and shut tight our window into spirit.
So, let us be not sure of anything,
beside ourselves and only that,
so miraculous beings come running to help.
Crazed, lying in a zero circle, mute,
we will be saying finally
with tremendous eloquence, Lead us.
When we have totally surrendered to that beauty,
we will become a mighty kindness.

This is what I have for you this week.  Let us be not sure of anything.  Let us surrender to this very moment.  The sun is shining brightly on the white cherry blossoms outside my window.  I hear the comforting rhythm of the dryer in the background.  My forearms rest on the edge of the desk.  I don’t know what is ahead in my day.  Instead of saying yes or no to this, I will try to say lead me, and to find the courage to follow.  I want to surrender, and become a mighty kindness.

I hope this is helpful to you as well.